he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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