So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
