He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize