That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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