What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
