how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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