He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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