I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
