i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
