Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
