Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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