She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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