Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
