I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
