when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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