yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
