u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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