I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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