She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
