i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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