I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
