Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
