I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
