I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
