i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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