Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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