Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
