Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
