i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
