Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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