also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
