So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
