So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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