Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
