Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
