every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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