Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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