did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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