How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
