I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
