Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize