im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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