I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
