i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you win again, gameday.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize