Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My vagina is officially offended.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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