My nipple is on Facebook.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
