My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
