no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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