Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
