She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
