I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
