god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize