She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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