Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize