what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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