Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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