I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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