"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
